DIVINE INTERVENTIONS: What Matters Most

Joe and Danielle Cook share about their experience with a life-altering medical diagnosis. Joe Cook, a bi-vocational pastor, received a call from his doctor the night before Thanksgiving 2016, informing him of a brain tumor. The couple discusses the emotional turmoil they faced, the impact on their family, and the challenges of balancing life while dealing with a serious medical condition.

Despite the initial shock and subsequent complications, including a dangerous staph infection after surgery, Joe's faith remained strong. He emphasizes the importance of community support and not viewing such trials as an indictment on one's faith.

The episode concludes with a prayer for listeners facing their own challenges, encouraging them to seek divine intervention and maintain hope.

Transcript

TOPIC: Divine Interventions: What Matters Most
GUESTS: Joe & Danielle Cook
S3, E37

Ric Shields (00:00):

Have you ever received a phone call with bad news? I think all of us have at some point in our lives. A few years ago, Joe Cook received a phone call from his primary care physician. It was the night before Thanksgiving, and while he expected to learn the results of a recent MRI, he was not prepared for what he was about to be told.

(00:20):

Thanks for joining me as we discuss Divine Interventions: What Matters Most. I'm Ric Shields, and this is the DoorWays® Ministry Network podcast.

(00:38):

Thank you for joining us on this podcast. I'm Ric Shields, your host and the director of the DoorWays® Ministry Network. More often than not, I'm blessed to have longtime friends join me on the podcast, and that's true of Joe and Danielle Cook. We've been friends for quite some time, probably for 30 years. Thank you, Joe and Danielle, for taking time from your busy schedules to join with me today.

Joe Cook (01:00):

Hey, Ric. So great to talk with you. I think of so many great things that we've experienced through the years, whether it's meeting at Sam's for a slice of pizza or bumping into each other at the post office. I've enjoyed our friendship and always cherish the memories we share together.

Ric Shields (01:17):

Our current series of episodes is called Divine Interventions, and I'm interviewing people who have stories to tell of how God did something unexpected. Amazing, miraculous. You choose the descriptive word. I know parts of your story, but I believe it's worth sharing more of it with our listeners.

(01:35):

 Joe, it would be easy for us to think that this story is all about you and you're the protagonist of the story. But I'd actually like to start by getting some background from Danielle. So, in a nutshell, Danielle, tell us what happened in the fall of 2016.

Danielle Cook (01:51):

It was the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, and we were doing the famous favorite day for moms. The worst day for teenagers is family pictures. And I would tell them every year, give me an hour of your time. That's it. I get to pick what you wear, then you can go do whatever you want. So, we'd gone to take family pictures, gone to dinner, and we had just gotten home and we got a phone call from our doctor, which seemed kind of odd at about eight o'clock on a Wednesday night, the day before Thanksgiving. Thankfully, our doctor's a dear friend, and I remember Joe going into his closet to take this phone call, and I thought, okay, this is kind of weird. And he came out with just a solemn look on his face and said, well, that was doctor. And he said, I have a tumor on my brain. And we kind of just sat there for a minute, and then I started crying. And he said, okay, we're going to, we're going to figure this out.

Ric Shields (02:48):

What emotions do you recall as you faced a potentially life altering medical condition with your husband and the father of your four children?

Danielle Cook (02:57):

I feel like I experienced all of them. You know, first was just an, a numbness like shock. I think just the concern of he takes care of all the bills. What are the passwords? What are the, you know, financially what was going to happen? How are we going to do this? We are pastors. How are we going to be away from the church? What happens to those people?

(03:19):

You know, it is not just us, our four kids and us, you know, I feel like we have an extended family, so just being concerned about what's going to happen to them. What about the kids? Our oldest son was 20 years old, had just gotten engaged two weeks before that. So, he was busy planning a wedding. Our second son had just graduated high school, was starting to find out about his new life. Our daughter was a freshman in high school. She was involved in competitive cheerleading. We had competitions coming up. Our youngest son was 12. He is very involved in basketball. It was right in the middle of basketball season with tournaments on the weekends.

(04:01):

So, I had to still be mom. We still had to live life while getting this life-altering medical condition prescribed to us, like, this is what's going on.

Ric Shields (04:11):

Joe, this whole story likely begins in your childhood. Can you give us a brief synopsis of how those early conditions may have led to the development or to the discovery of a brain tumor?

Joe Cook (04:24):

<Laugh>? I, you know, growing up I was, I grew up on a farm. We worked hard, worked outside a lot. I got tonsillitis, repeated strep throat, things like that. As a kid and as a young adult, I began to experience this thing called pyelonephritis, which is essentially, I mean, in simple terms, it's like fluid in your kidneys but it's essentially where the strep virus settles in your kidneys because it can't filter through properly, and it was causing some problems.

(04:50):

 Mid-nineties, I spent some time in the hospital with that frequent recurrent strep throat issues, ultimately had a tonsillectomy first part of 2005 or so. And then post tonsillectomy, I began to have some complications. I began to aspirate. When I would swallow or eat certain foods and drinks, I would cough a lot, clear my throat. Initially we thought it was because the, the glands were so large that they had just kind of protected me from doing that. But over time, it began to be problematic.

(05:23):

Ten year period of time from 2005 to 2015, that throat clearing didn't disappear and begin to worsen, and ultimately had some other procedures done, medications prescribed, specialists visited with, and, and never really reached any sort of conclusive diagnosis. And so anyway, that's, that's kind of the background on how all of that, that started. Fast forward to 2016 and things got a little bit more dicey.

Ric Shields (05:56):

So Danielle, do you remember what Thanksgiving was like, like the very next day, what was Thanksgiving like?

Danielle Cook (06:17):

I do. I was actually hosting our families and my brother and sister-in-law and his four kids were in town from North Carolina. All of Joe's family was here. And honestly, I was just going through the motions. I had to prepare a meal I had to host, but there was just a somber feel to the day. But I remember trying to enjoy every moment and laughing because we didn't know what the future held at that moment. All we knew was the diagnosis. We didn't know since of how it was going to be the outcome. So we had to live in that moment.

Ric Shields (06:54):

Joe, you and I had both worked as hospice chaplains, and when I heard you had a brain tumor, my first thought was not, okay, God, you've got this. I have to admit, my first thought was, okay, God. Now what? Yeah, I'd be interested to know what you first thoughts were.

Joe Cook (07:11):

Well, Danielle mentioned earlier that I took a call in the, in the closet from our doctor. When I first spoke with him, I, I said to him, I said, so what's the score? And he said, well, it's rare. It's outside my wheelhouse. I'll send you what I have you read it, and then we will, we'll circle up and, and have question answer time.

(07:31):

At that point, we felt it was probably malignant and recognizing, you know, the gravity of a diagnosis like that. And also, having been in the hospice arena for some time, you know, there's no cure for cancer of any kind. But brain cancer is one of the most aggressive and deadly forms. And, and while there is a, a lot of research that's been done and a lot of progress has been made, life extension is still one of the primary only expectations.

(08:01):

And curing is, is almost unheard of. And so, we were very concerned. And Danielle said that I came out and said, I have a tumor on my brain. I, I think what I actually said was, I think I have brain cancer. So, you know that's, that's what I first thought. But I called a couple of friends. I called my brother to let him know kind of what was going on because he was coming into town for Thanksgiving, he and his family.

(08:28):

I called all of our kids and told them they all needed to be at the house by 10:30. So the boys came home early that evening. We kind of had a family meeting, and I laid down some parameters and I just said, this is what we're facing. This is what we're confronted by. It's a big deal, but it's not going to be the only deal. We have a lot of reasons left to live and a lot of good in our lives, and this is not going to take over our lives. We're not going to be totally absorbed in this. While it is a big thing, we've got a lot of good left to live for. And that's, that's just kind of the approach that I took. And, and then things begin to accelerate quickly. And, and we were very fortunate.

Ric Shields (09:08):

You had some pretty busy days immediately following the discovery of this tumor. Your feet hit the ground running. What did you do when you woke up the day after Thanksgiving?

Joe Cook (09:18):

Well you know, by that time I had you know, I'm, I'm kind of a nerd and I go deep down rabbit holes on all things. 

Ric Shields (09:27):

Really? Is it okay if I agree with you?

Joe Cook (09:30):

Yeah, it's fine.

Ric Shields (09:31):

<Laugh>. Yeah. I just want to say, you are a bit of a nerd. That's the truth. <Laugh>.

Joe Cook (09:34):

Well, you know, I have ADHD also, and I always call that a superpower. It's, you know, a lot of people think of that as a deficit. I think of it as a real advantage because one of the chief characteristics of people with ADHD is hyper focus. And so, whenever there's something that that strikes you and captivates your thoughts you have a tendency to hyperfocus. And so, I mean, I'm from the Library of Congress to every specialty outpost around the globe looking at research and reading technical papers and all the details. So, yeah, I did hit the ground running. I had talked with our doctor by then. I asked his opinion. He said he would look outside of Oklahoma, look at the Centers of Excellence around the country.

(10:19):

So, I put together kind of little research packets. I got the slides from the hospital of the MRIs that I had had done. I assembled kind of a document of details about myself, my insurance coverage, my general age and, health and, and physical condition outside of the brain issue. And I began to send them out to places like MD Anderson, Baylor, UCLA, Yale, Johns Hopkins, Duke, various other places, Mayo Clinic, of course. And so yeah, I executed on that pretty quickly and very fortunate to have a lot of responsiveness from each one of those each one of those healthcare facilities.

Ric Shields (10:59):

There was a lot of activity. But what were you thinking? And when I say that in these terms, were you confident the Lord was going to intervene and bring healing? Did you have any clue to potential outcomes of some of the treatment options?

Joe Cook (11:16):

You know me pretty well. I'm a fixer. I'm a solutions guy. I'm always looking for the best angle to get to wherever I want to go as quickly as possible. And so, I always felt like God was going to be on the scene. How he elected to do that is his prerogative. But you know, the scripture says, I think it's in Psalm 138, that he has elevated his word above his name. And while I love to pray in Jesus' name I always have held onto the word. The word of God is the thing that sustains me in all of life's challenges. And so, with that thought in mind, I knew that God was going to work in our behalf in one form or another. Now, whether that ultimately resulted in ultimate healing on the other side, or whether that resulted in ultimate healing here, I was not really you know, trying to hold any restriction on the Lord, but obviously I knew and he knew that I wanted things to work out on this side.

Ric Shields (12:19):

You're listening to the DoorWays® Ministry Network podcast. My name is Ric Shields, and I'm joined on this episode with my friends Joe and Danielle Cook, who learned that Joe had a tumor one day before Thanksgiving in November, 2016. Within a month or a, just after, over a month after the diagnosis, you were having surgery at Duke University.

Joe Cook (12:27):

Yeah. You know, that's a lot of people say that's really crazy how rapidly that proceeded. But I'll tell you, you know, as a pastor, I've been with several people who have had organ transplants at some of these centers of excellence around the globe. You know lung, pancreas, kidney, heart, you know, my father recently had some things done at Mayo Clinic and the thing about these centers of excellence around the country, Mayo, Cleveland Clinic, et cetera, Duke, they are so precise and responsive.

(13:02):

I remember receiving a phone call from Dr. Friedman, who ultimately was my neurosurgeon. He's a subject matter expert on this type of tumor that I was ultimately diagnosed with. And he called me. I was changing planes on my way back from, from Washington, DC for my secular job. I was in Dallas. And he said, Hello, Mr. Cook. He said, I've reviewed your case. I'd like to offer you surgery if you would like the best in the world. He said, “If not, though, I understand it's your brain.”

(13:32):

That was kind of humorous. But he was in, in complete seriousness whenever he, whenever he expressed that. And I, of course, I had done a little research on him by then and realized that he was literally an expert on this type of tumor. And he had performed surgery on President Biden's son Bo that passed away a few years ago. He had performed surgery on Coach K from Duke, Steve Kerr from the Golden State Warriors. You know, several other dignitaries. He had consulted on Senator McCain's procedure, performed surgery on Senator Ted Kennedy. And then he's talking to me on the phone. And so it was, it was impressive. At the same time, it was very humbling, and no doubt, I believe God's hand was involved in all of these things.

(14:24):

But, to their credit, I received calls and set up consultations with Mayo Clinic, Baylor, MD Anderson, and John Hopkins, all four in addition to Duke, and ultimately pumped the brakes whenever I found Dr. Friedman, because he was such an exceptional surgeon.

Ric Shields (14:39):

And things went pretty well. You had the surgery, things went pretty well until they didn't, you had a pretty scary development just 10 days after surgery.

Joe Cook (14:48):

Yeah, you know, I was in surgery for such a brief time. The surgery was long, but, you know, I checked in on Wednesday the 29th, at about 5:00 PM procedure took place on Thursday the 30th, about one o'clock. And I was actually in the hotel by around 2:00 PM on the 31st and watched the ball drop for New Year's Eve with the family. So, we were in the hospital for a complete craniotomy where they literally went in through, you know, they cut a hole in my skull and peeled my head back, and I had 42 staples across the front of my head. I mean, it was a very involved and detailed procedure, but I was in the hospital for less time than Danielle was when she had all of our kids. Yeah everything went well.

(15:37):

I flew home three days later, and then I began to experience some discomfort in the incision site, and it began to swell and kind of get nasty looking. And I had our local physician take a look, and he said that he really felt like it was MRSA, and that's a pretty nasty staph infection. And that resulted in me going back and spending another period of time there and going through another craniotomy. And ultimately, you know, 90 days of, oh, I guess IV antibiotics three times a day. It was a much more complicating issue than the procedure itself.

(16:17):

So really, the second procedure was very complex and very dangerous. I spent six days in the step down unit on site following that surgery. And it very, very troubling and concerning. I didn't realize it at the time how concerning it was, but the risk was, of course, that the staff infection would get inside the cranium and invade the brain. And then, of course, things would've been pretty much all over. But thankfully that didn't happen.

Ric Shields (16:47):

I can't imagine the ups and downs you were experiencing, Danielle. This had to be absolutely exhausting. I mean, here you are, you're continuing to be a mother, and now you're caring for basically an incapacitated patient who happens to be your husband. How did you balance all of that?

Danielle Cook (17:04):

Well, I didn't, that's the thing. This is where I talk about how great our community is and how important it is to have those people around you. Whenever he went back to Duke for the second surgery, I didn't go. We thought he was just going to go fly there, have it drained, have a looked at, come back home, be gone for, you know, two days, three days, whatever. So, I stayed home because we had life going on with four kids, and I can't be at all places all the time. So, we had so many people helping, taking our kids to practices and school and providing meals, but it was a hard time. And then dealing with the guilt of not being there, because I, like I said, I thought it was going to be a couple days, and so now we are 10 days in, my husband's in ICU and I'm at home trying to keep things running at home. So, it was a very challenging time for the second surgery, but thankfully the people that surrounded us helped us get through that time. Here

Ric Shields (18:07):

We are, been eight years ago. Right. How are you doing?

Joe Cook (18:12):

Well, you know, I think all in all I'm doing okay. I, you know, I've met a few people since that time that have never known me before the surgery, and, and they all are stunned and amazed whenever they find out that I've had a brain surgery that kind of affects my short-term memory. And in, reality has basically eliminated some of my core memories from the past. I mean, I really just don't remember certain things about our early years of marriage, some of the activities with our kids. You know, that's one of the challenges of this tumor is that it was right near my memory center, and the doctor had told us by the time we went, he was pretty sure that it was not malignant, but he said the position of it could essentially erase my hard drive.

(19:01):

So, you know, we did videos of talking with the kids  and with friends, close friends and things of that nature, because he said, seeing yourself on video and hearing your voice with people that are important in your life can help to retrain the neural pathways in the event that that happens. And, you know, fortunately, none of that really happened in a big way.

(19:21):

But there are some challenges. But I also attribute some of that to just being a middle fifties year old man. And sometimes I like to make excuses and say, well, we've had two brain surgeries. So, but all in all, I'm doing very well. I'm very thankful I'm healthy. God's been incredibly great to us. And, you know, our family's doing well. Things are very, very good. So I can't complain.

Ric Shields (19:46):

I've said it before on this podcast, ministry marks us. Looking back, what important lessons have you learned to help others on their journey? What have you learned that you can share to encourage others?

Danielle Cook (20:00):

Well, I'm going to say, for me, I'm such a giver. And being a pastor's wife, that's what you do. You give, you encourage. And it was difficult for me to be on the other side of the bed, to be the one who was needing the prayers, who was needing the encouragement, needing the meals. And I really felt like the Lord told me I needed to learn to be a better receiver of his blessings, and not always just a giver.

Joe Cook (20:26):

Yeah, that's, that's great. And, and that was really important for Danielle to, to grasp, you know, I think for me, the thing that I would say that would be encouraging to others, and this, you know, as a pastor and a hospice chaplain for many, many years, you know, I've probably been present with over 300 people whenever they've taken their last breath and been through some very challenging opportunities with families that I love.

(20:52):

And in our culture, especially in our faith community, a lot of times people look at their lives and they think if something bad happens, if they get a profound diagnosis or chronic illness or something that's like, there's something wrong with their faith, like there's an indictment against their faith. And many times, people are embarrassed. As a pastor, I've walked through challenges with people who felt like they were embarrassed because something happened. They're a person of faith, or a person of prayer, or they've lived a pure and righteous life. And how did this happen? This isn't supposed to happen. And the reality is these things happen to all people, and it really doesn't matter. The scripture says it rains on the just and the unjust.

(21:31):

And you know, it isn't about whether or not you're a person of faith or not a person of faith. And you know, one of the things that I did from the very beginning on this is I made a decision. I was not going to keep this as secret. I was not going to keep this a surprise. And, and part of the reason why I did that may have been selfish in the sense that I didn't want to have to tell the story a thousand different times a day. I just wanted to get it all out there, let people know and say, Hey, if you have questions, ask. I'm happy to tell you. And I tried to be detailed in sharing information.

(22:03):

And so literally Thursday was Thanksgiving, Friday was workday, Saturday was research more, and Sunday we had church. And I stood up in front of the church and told everybody in the church exactly what was going on, what our next steps looked like, what we were planning to do, asked them to pray for us and join us in thinking about you know, what the future could look like.

(22:25):

And so, I guess my word to others listening would be, don't be ashamed and fearful, and take it as some sort of indictment on your faith. Take it as an opportunity to continue to trust God and to reach out and allow other believers to be what the body of Christ is designed to be. A source of comfort, encouragement, peace, hope, and blessing.

Ric Shields (22:49):

I'd like you to pray for our listeners today. I'm pretty confident that there are those who are believing for divine interventions for themselves or for loved ones or friends. Would you pray for them as, and I'm sincere about this, as we give glory to God for all he is done for you in your life and pray for them as they seek his divine intervention in their life.

Joe Cook (23:11):

Dear God, we love you and we're so incredibly thankful to you. We don't understand all the things that we encounter in this life. And they're oftentimes overwhelming and, and as we've talked about today can be very life altering and surprising. They just happen sometimes and we don't expect them. They come out of nowhere. And it literally changes everything causes us to recognize the gravity and the importance of relationships and family and really identify the key things in our lives that really matter most.

(23:45):

And I know there are people that are suffering and struggling right now, some that are going through incredible challenges and pain and profound illness, and perhaps even some terminal.  Father, our prayer for those today is that that you would intervene in their circumstance, however you choose to intervene. I often remind myself, Lord, of your faithfulness, and I'm so grateful to you for it. And I thank you for great doctors and nurses and medical professionals  and key individuals and scientific advancements and pharmacology and all these wonderful gifts that we have access to.

(24:20):

And we're so grateful, Lord, that that you provide these things for us, but we also know that there's limitations there and where their limitations exist. We trust you Lord, to step in and intervene and to work as only you can work. God, we love you and we're so thankful for you that you love us so very much. We pray, Lord, that you'd give people favor and grace and open doors and relationships. And Lord, just move and manifest yourself according to your plan and your purpose in each and every life. And Lord, our desire in all things is to glorify you in all that we do and all that we become. It's for your sake. And in your name, we pray. Amen.

Ric Shields (25:07):

I'm glad you joined me today and hope you found Joe and Danielle's story to be encouraging.

(25:13):

Do you need a divine intervention in your life? Please know that I'm praying and believing for you and believe that God can do immeasurably more than you could ever ask or imagine according to his power that is at work in us. That's what the Apostle Paul wrote in the New Testament book of Ephesians, chapter three, verse 20. Paul actually prayed that for the church in Ephesus, and his example gives us the faith to pray it for each other even today.

(25:43):

Drop me a note this week and let me know how I can pray for you or pass along an idea for a future podcast topic. My address is info at DoorWays.cc.

(25:55):

I look forward to being with you next week. May the Lord be with you and your family.