DIVINE INTERVENTIONS: "Climb In - Get Close"

Robyn Wright-Stang is like most of us; she loves Jesus, loves her family, and loves her community. But what is remarkable about Robyn is the journey she's walked the past few years and how God has divinely intervened in her life.

Transcript

Divine Interventions: “Climb In, Get Close”
GUEST: Robyn Wright-Stang
Season 3, Episode 41

 
Robyn Wright-Stang (00:00):

The Lord gave me this picture of Him as a dad wearing one of those front baby carriers, and He said to me, “Climb in, like, you're going to need to be really close to me on this one.”

Ric Shields (00:25):

Thank you for joining us on this podcast. I'm Ric Shields, your host, and the director of the DoorWays® Ministry Network. Most often, I discuss topics with people who have been friends of mine or of me and my wife, Sheila, for some time. This week is a little different. I'm talking with a new friend, one I've never met in person, but I heard her story and I realized the value it could have if she shared it with our listeners.

(00:50):

My guest today is Robyn Wright-Stang. She's really no different than the rest of us. She loves Jesus, loves her family, loves her community. But what is remarkable about Robyn is the journey she's walked the past few years and how God has divinely intervened in her life. Thank you, Robyn. I'm so glad you could join me today.

Robyn Wright-Stang (01:10):

Thank you, Ric, for this opportunity.

Ric Shields (01:14):

You know, when we first spoke a couple of days ago and really first spoke, I found out that you're a mother of five children. You have three biological children, two adopted children, and recently welcomed four adult stepchildren into your family. And I've got to tell you, that just makes my head spin a bit. Your home, it's got to be an old hotel or a campground or something. I don't know.

Robyn Wright-Stang (01:38):

<Laugh>, Right. I mean, I do love to camp, but yes, it requires a special intentionality and flexibility and really a willingness to say yes to those late-night conversations in the kitchen or around the dinner table. And then to add to that, trying to be present for the college age, young adults in my family. And I have one that's married and it requires all of those same things. It just looks a little different.

(02:08):

And then there's also this dynamic of being a blended family. So probably from the outside looking in, it looks bonkers. And it is.

Ric Shields (02:18):

Yeah, I think so. And as I said to you when we first spoke, I can't imagine what Christmas looks like. You've got to rent a convention center or something.

Robyn Wright-Stang (02:27):

Yeah.

Ric Shields (02:28):

And when more kids get married and there are grand babies. Oh, my goodness, it's going to be amazing.

Robyn Wright-Stang (02:34):

<Laugh>. Amen. All the stockings.

Ric Shields (02:36):

That's, oh my goodness, all the stockings. You'll line the house with them.

Robyn Wright-Stang (02:40):

Yeah.

Ric Shields (02:41):

Robyn, you're also taking a sabbatical year having served as a middle school math teacher in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. But you're not taking this year off for healing because you're tired of teaching or tired of being a busy wife and mother. You had a life altering experience in 2021. Your husband James was serving as the pastor at Osage Hills Christian Church when your life took a dramatic turn. Can you give us some background of what happened?

Robyn Wright-Stang (03:10):

It actually began the month before. In late December of 2020, James had contracted COVID. And really Ric, we had no other thoughts than James' case was going to look like just our, all of the other cases we had seen with our friends or church members. We lived and functioned really with the belief that if we did all of the recommended protocol plus some that he would recover just like everyone else we knew because we didn't know anyone that had not recovered from COVID.

(03:42):

But James' case progressed differently and on the afternoon of New Year's Eve 2020, his lungs were bringing in 87% oxygen. So, I drove my husband of 20 years to the emergency room, and then because of COVID restrictions, I had to drive home leaving him there. Then over the course of what became a 40-day journey, James went from the COVID unit to the cardiovascular unit where he received the first of what would eventually become five chest tubes.

(04:16):

Then he went to the ICU where his lungs were paralyzed, and he was placed on a ventilator. Then on January 18th, and we're now in 2021, and James was transported to the Oklahoma Heart Institute where he was put on an ECMO machine, which I, at that point in my life, had no idea what that even was. It is a life support device really, that was taking the blood out of James' body, oxygenating his blood, the way his lungs were supposed to, and then the blood was entering back into his body. And I was told that he could safely be on ECMO for 25 days. So, in my prayers with the Lord, I was like, “We have 25 days for a miracle God.”

(05:06):

However, we did not receive the miracle of James' healing on this side of heaven. And on February 9th, he took his last breath here on this earth and breathed in the presence of Jesus.

Ric Shields (05:22):

It begs the question, did James have some other health issues that were going on that added maybe some comorbidities to this?

Robyn Wright-Stang (05:29):

None at all. He was a healthy 43-year-old man. In fact, he had trained and ran the Indianapolis Marathon. He would go on hiking trips every summer with men from our church to like Mexico and Colorado, which as you know, is an elevation change from Oklahoma.

(05:49):

So, to answer your question, no. He had healthy lungs and zero underlying conditions that would've complicated having COVID any more than it already was.

Ric Shields (06:01):

Robyn, this is - it's crazy, obviously. And we have many friends and probably those listening who either have lost friends or loved ones to COVID and, and there's just no rhyme or reason to how it happened.

(06:12):

But let, let's get back to you. Suddenly you're a widow with five children. Your oldest son was a student at Ozark Christian College in Joplin, Missouri. You've got cars to maintain, a mortgage to pay, you're going to need groceries the very next day. There are utility bills.

(06:32):

Robyn, this had to be absolutely overwhelming.

Robyn Wright-Stang (06:35):

That is an accurate way of describing it. And yet I also felt like our family was in the eye of the storm. I, my immediate family, and James's family were, I just had this picture of Moses and Aaron and her were holding up his arms in the middle of battle. And I felt like that was what the body of Christ and my family were being for me. I, I knew a whole host of people were praying for my family and my children.

(07:05):

I had a village who stepped in and would take my kids to tennis practice or track practice. I witnessed the body of Christ deliver firewood to my front porch. And I'm not being dramatic when I say that, for the first month after James's death, every time I went to the mailbox, there was a check in there to cover whatever the expense was that day. So overwhelming, yes, it was overwhelming. And I also witnessed that Jehovah Jireh of God,

Ric Shields (07:41):

You're a teacher. About six weeks or so after your husband's death, you decide to go back into the classroom to teach. Now, I just can't imagine the challenges that brought to you, Robyn. How were you able to do that?

Robyn Wright-Stang (07:55):

Well, <laugh> not well, I have no idea. But my colleagues were like family for me. They had walked every step of that journey with me. My students knew why I was out of the classroom. I just didn't know what else to do. My kids had gone back to school the week after James's celebration of life, and I just kind of followed suit.

(08:23):

I do remember feeling like a shell of a person. And one morning during my planning period standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and having to remind myself that my life was real, that my husband, this man that I had loved, he had died and he was no longer here. And that was, that was now my reality.

Ric Shields (08:50):

You're listening to the DoorWays® Ministry Network podcast. My name is Ric Shields and I'm joined on this episode Robyn Wright-Stang. Many of us lost friends and loved ones to COVID, but she lost her husband James, who was the father to their five children, and the pastor of a church. That meant Robyn suddenly had many roles to fill, many hats to wear, plates to spend, all while grieving this terrible loss.

(09:17):

But God didn't forget you, Robyn. In fact, a divine intervention or multiple divine interventions actually took place that really is almost beyond comprehension. Please lead us into that important part of your story.

Robyn Wright-Stang (09:32):

The week of James' death, there was a massive ice storm here in Tulsa and my family who had come down from Joplin to be with me, got stuck here actually at my house. And while they were at my house, my brother and sister-in-law did what they do best – finances and organization. And they went into my closet where all the documents were kept and they made a list of all the things that I would need to tackle. And then they also organized it by months like, this is what you have to do within the first month and who you need to contact. And then the second month and the third month, and really it was a labor of love for me because there was no way that my brain could have ever organized all of that information or even known that the things they had on my list were things that needed to be on a list.

Ric Shields (10:28):

And let me just pause here and say, but you're a math teacher. You're very analytical and to be able to put things together, that's what you do. But in the middle of this tremendous grief and loss, everything changes.

Robyn Wright-Stang (10:42):

Absolutely. You are just in survival mode. You're fight, you're in, in just that mode. And grief brain is a real thing. And so, in that time, there was this brief but hard conversation about the income that I would now be bringing in a, a single income and the expenses that we also had to pay. And I knew the reality. I knew it would be difficult if not impossible for the kids and I to stay in our current home.

(11:14):

And there was a morning when I stood in front of our fireplace with my dad, which is pretty symbolic now that I think about it. I'm talking to my earthly dad, but my heavenly Father is there and He is listening. And I told my dad, “If someone would just pay off my house, we'll be okay. We will make it.” And really Ric, it's not like for me to say those sorts of things, it feels really gutsy to say that out loud.

(11:43):

That's a huge ask. But God He heard that cry and my need and He was already at work. What I didn't know is that on that same day there was a church in Tulsa that knew of James's story and they were heading into their staff meeting for the week to plan how they were going to kick off their generosity series. And in that meeting on the very day that I'm telling my need to my dad and my prayer, that staff of that church decided to kick off their series by paying off my entire mortgage. And they also gifted me my husband's salary for the rest of that year.

Ric Shields (12:25):

This is amazing. That's, yeah, and it's the very thing you had, you had said if someone would just do this, and God heard that.

Robyn Wright-Stang (12:36):

He did.

Ric Shields (12:36):

And was already putting all these pieces in place. And man, He loves us Robyn, He really does.

Robyn Wright-Stang (12:41):

Yeah.

Ric Shields (12:42):

Now this account of the financial miracle. Your experience. It fills my heart with hope for others. Thank you so much for sharing that. But your life took another unexpected turn a few months later. It's like, God just wouldn't stop showering his love and his grace on you and your family.

Robyn Wright-Stang (13:02):

He's just so big and his ways, his ways are not our ways. And you know, his thoughts definitely were not like my thoughts. And I had a friend recently point out that in Jeremiah 29:11, when it says, “For I know the plans I have for you.” It's plural. And I had never noticed that before. It's plural. They're not just one plan.

(13:30):

And so, God was not done writing his plans for my story. He could have written it anyway and He still would've been good because that's his character and He is also sweet and He has a bit of a sense of humor, which I then witnessed this summer of 2021.

(13:49):

My kids were serving as camp counselors at our church camp. And on a Tuesday night, I made a trip out to see them, went to have dinner with them, and I ended up sticking around for the evening activities that night. Meanwhile, the Lord was beginning to write this crazy summer camp romance into my story. And his name was Adam Stang. He was also a pastor, actually, he and my late husband James had known one another. Adam was out at camp that entire summer with the youth and children from his church that he had served. Adam was divorced, he had four children from that marriage. And yet God, as is His character, began to take these two broken things and created something really beautiful. And the following summer, Adam and I were married.

Ric Shields (14:45):

Now I'm not sure who's the luckiest in this relationship. You or Adam. He sounds like a great guy. And you have this effervescent personality that just fills your home with joy, I think probably fills every room you ever walk into. What does the future look like for your family?

Robyn Wright-Stang (15:03):

Well, Adam has since transitioned from ministry as a pastor and recently received his degree and certification as a licensed marriage and family therapist. So now he is getting to do a different type of ministry working for a group called First Responder Support Services here in Tulsa. So, we're really excited to watch the Lord use Adam's experience in ministry coupled with his education to serve those who serve.

(15:33):

And then my oldest son, who you had referred to earlier, he's now married to a beautiful Staten Island girl that he met in his time away in New York at college. And they now live here in Tulsa where he is finishing his degree with Fordham University online.

Ric Shields (15:52):

This is a big change for a girl from Staten Island.

Robyn Wright-Stang (15:54):

Yeah, we love her. She brings some beautiful culture into our tribe. And then because I have all these children, I have two kids that are studying at Ozark Christian College and two, my youngest two are both juniors in high school. They're just living their best lives. So, our future really just looks like keeping in step with the Holy Spirit.

Ric Shields (16:22):

Your experience of grief and loss, Robyn, led you to a new area of ministry that you probably have never considered. So please explain this opportunity to us. Tell us how you got started. Maybe how others can be involved.

Robyn Wright-Stang (16:35):

Yeah. Not once did I ever imagine the word widow would be a part of my story. And one of the things that the enemy tried to convince me of was that with the death of my husband was also the death of my ability to minister or to do ministry. And yet what the enemy meant for evil, God has meant for good. And I now get to minister and serve as the local leader for a ministry called Never Alone Widows, which provides a community for widows of all ages and all stages of widowhood.

(17:10):

You know, statistics say that within the first year of a widow losing after she's lost her husband, she will also lose 75% of her community. Yeah. That's bonkers.

Ric Shields (17:23):

That's crazy,

Robyn Wright-Stang (17:25):

Right?

Ric Shields (17:26):

When they need it the most, they lose it.

Robyn Wright-Stang (17:29):

Yeah. You know, we just don't know how, we don't know how to, I don't know. It is our mission, I would say, with this ministry never alone Widows to come alongside the widow and walk with them through the valley because we were never meant to take up residency in the valley. He wants to walk through the valley with us.

Ric Shields (17:51):

You told me there's a difference that takes place when you're really working with widows that it's different than just working with other women. One of the things you said is that there aren't many words that have to be said,

Robyn Wright-Stang (18:04):

Right. It's about, it's like a third of the words are required when a widow is sharing with another widow.

Ric Shields (18:12):

It's all about presence, isn't it?

Robyn Wright-Stang (18:14):

Absolutely. It takes less energy, like emotional energy to share our stories with someone else who has experienced the same loss. There's also this quote that I heard after, after the loss of James. It's a CS Lewis quote because most pastors love CS Lewis <laugh>. And it says, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another. ‘What? You, too?’ I thought I was the only one.” And that's what I have experienced is that healing happens in the connecting. There's not a need to do a lot of explaining for your emotions. When a widow is connecting with another widow, she gets it. She's probably felt the same or similar.

Ric Shields (19:05):

Well, and I think the truth is most people just want to be able to tell their story.

Robyn Wright-Stang (19:10):

Yes!

Ric Shields (19:11):

And not have people just go off to, “Okay, so did you go to the store yesterday?” You know, and just get away from it. They just want to tell their story. And having the opportunity to tell their story with someone is so healing and so powerful.

Robyn Wright-Stang (19:27):

And that is how we overcome, by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.

Ric Shields (19:33):

That's great. That's good, Robyn. I've said it before in this podcast, ministry marks us.

(19:40):

Looking back, what important lessons have you learned to help others on their journey? What have you learned that you can share to encourage others?

Robyn Wright-Stang (19:49):

Ric, I feel like there are pages and pages that could be written about what I have learned, and your listeners can probably say the same thing. I have learned that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. So close.

(20:06):

It was during that 40-day journey when James was in the hospital that the Lord gave me this picture of him as a dad wearing one of those front baby carriers. And He said to me, “Climb in like, you're going to need to be really close to me on this one.” And I don't even remember climbing in. I think He just wrapped, picked me up and put me in.

(20:35):

He was so close to me and I've had to learn to trust the Father to father my children because I have this tendency to want to come in and save and protect. And those characteristics are not meant for me. They are reserved for Him to do for them.

(20:58):

And then probably one of the most embarrassing things I would say I've learned just because I was a pastor's wife and I grew up in the church, I quickly was face-to-face with this belief that I had, that my relationship with Jesus could be transactional. Like, if you will heal my husband, I will follow you that if you, you'll do this, I will do that. Or because I have served you all these years, you should be doing this.

(21:31):

And what He very quickly allowed me to grab a hold onto or learn was that it's built on trust. I will follow you even if, and it's in the, even if where the relationship took place for me.

Ric Shields (21:52):

Robyn, I'd like you to pray for our listeners today. There probably are some who are believing for divine interventions for themselves or for loved ones or for friends. Would you pray for them so that we can give glory to God for all that He's done in, in your life and in our lives and to, to lift him up? So, would you, would you pray for us?

Robyn Wright-Stang (22:13):

Yes, I would love to. Father God, we come to you and we do, we want to magnify your name. May the spotlight never be upon us, but always upon you. You're the main character.

(22:29):

God, we thank you so much for never, not once taking your gaze off of us. We are your sparrows; God and your eye is ever upon us. I thank you for that.

(22:44):

For the man or woman that is currently today walking through a valley or a season of darkness, Father, would you allow your light to come in and for your light to overcome their darkness, Lord, that even there they would trust you. And even if they will still trust you and they would follow you.

(23:11):

God, you are good. You could write our stories any way you want and you're just good, God. We love you and it is all for your glory. And it is in the name of your son Jesus I pray. Amen.